Whew!  What a crazy couple of weeks.  I am very excited to say that I am finally feeling like my feet are finding some solid ground.  B and I have been overwhelmed with putting the finishing touches on our house plans and they are FINALLY done!  We will probably be breaking ground the end of October so at least I can put the house thing on the back burner for a little while.

The wedding invitations have been ordered.  Guess there is no backing out now.  (Just kidding!)  Really all that is left is decorating stuff and small details.  I am feeling much more on top of things and relaxed.  I’m just hoping I can keep that relaxed feeling all through the rest of the process.

We have reached the “craft season” in my neck of the woods.  This weekend I will be attending a craft fair with my mom and sister and next weekend my aunt, mom, and I will be traveling to another.  Fall is my favorite season.  I am already planning trips to the orchard and the pumpkin patch in the very near future.  Now if only the temperature would drop a little to make it feel like fall.  It is still fairly warm here and I am more than ready for jacket weather.

B and I coached our first soccer game of the season last Saturday.  We lost 4-1 but we had a great time doing it.  Our kids played their hearts out and I was incredibly proud of them.  I still don’t really enjoy soccer but I love our team. 

My health has been slowly but steadily deteriorating.  When I went off hormone therapy for my endometriosis it was understood this would happen.  The question was how fast it would happen.  Right now it seems it is a slow process which is good.  I am doing my best to take care of myself and keep the decline at a slow pace.  There are medical options but the goal is to get my body back into a normal cycle before adding anymore medications in the mix.  Thank you for all of the well wishes.  Overall my spirits are much better.

There has been a new fuzzy addition to my family in the last week.  Stay tuned for stories later this week.

WR

Little tidbits of updates

• Life and Times

We have registered for wedding gifts.  The bridesmaid dresses, mother of the bride dress, and my dress have been ordered.  This weekend I am ordering invitations.  This wedding thing is starting to loom over my head.  However I’m not feeling overwhelmed about it anymore.  Now if I could start feeling excited about it I would have it made.

• Financial

The house plans are drawn and finalized.  Now the constructions plans will be drawn up and hopefully we will break ground in 3 weeks.  I have finally gotten organized for the house planning process and that is really helping me feel less overwhelmed in this area.  B and I finally agreed on the house plans and now we will pick out carpet, flooring, brick color, etc.  We will just have to wait and see how all that goes.

• Health

I have been on a rollercoaster lately.  I fine for a couple of days and then laid up for three.  I am going to try some new herbal things in the next couple weeks and I will let you all know how that goes.  Right now my primary focus is to get my pain under control. 

• Entertainment

I’m putting this under entertainment because although it is not funny it is incredible dramatic.  C’s mom is going crazy…literally.  She has started calling B about once a week demanding more child support, or help with bills and then calls back two days later like she never called the first time.  She had B so upset on Friday night he was sweating and we haven’t heard from her since.  With all that’s going on in our lives we really can’t afford to go to court over C, but if it becomes necessary we will.  We were both really hoping that she would just get tired of him and send him back to us. 

Obituaries

• Sunday marked 6yrs since my dad died.  Surprisingly I was fine all day on Sunday.  Monday was the day I was sad.  Last night my brother was making a face just like Dad used to.  We were both laughing but ended up sitting in silence and crying later.  It was so long ago but sometimes it seems so close all over again.

Thanks for sticking with me while I am so inconsistent. *I actually tired loading some new pictures today and MSN kept kicking me off.  I will try again later this week.

WR

My spirits are definitely rising from last week.  This week my mom, three bridesmaids, and I headed off to the bridal shop.  We found everyone’s dresses including mine and had such a great time together.  It is great to have bridesmaids who like each other and have good relationships with my mom too.  They really helped me focus on enjoying this planning process and not stressing out so much. 

We are finalizing blue prints on the house next Wednesday.  I am trying not to think about the paint, cabinet, flooring, etc. choices that are to come.  If I look at it just one day at a time it is much easier. 

I have a follow up appointment with the doctor in 2 weeks.  After taking my blood pressure routinely I have found that it is consistently too low.  (Sound familiar Nicole?)  Anyway, so that with the iron issues has been making me SO tired.  I’m sure my brother and B think I am totally nuts since I have been in bed by 9pm every night for 2 weeks now.

My weight loss is at a stalling point.  I’m sure that being exhausted all the time is not helping either.  I still have been eating less and watching my calories but not at strictly as I should be.  Hey, at least I’m honest.  Right?

C stayed at his mom’s for this school year.  We are still waiting to see if she’ll get tired of him and send him home.  B and I are really missing him already.  However, I think it really is a blessing in disguise because I don’t think we could plan a wedding and build a house with the stress of him being here.  B and I are both hoping that he will come back next semester to live with us.

Well, I guess that’s all for now.  I’m going to get some pictures up next week for all of you.  Have a great holiday weekend!

*P.S.  After I got ready to post this entry there was an article on the MSN home page that was titled:  “Heavy Issues:  Is too much stress making you fat.”  I laughed out loud!

WR

I’m alive.  Just really overwhelmed.  I have been fighting with medicine changes, doses, etc. I think we may have gotten all that figured out.  Now we are trying to figure out why I am so tired all the time.  Doctors, doctors, and more doctors.

B and I have been given the great opportunity to build a house.  Only problem is we have to start building now.  So I’m planning a wedding and building a house.  I will admit to my blogging friends that I completely overwhelmed right now.  It doesn’t help that B and I have completely different ideas about things for the house and it seems to be a constant issue.  (Sigh)

I know that all too soon this will all be past but right now I feel like I am living in constant business and I just want a break from it all.  So you can see why I haven’t been blogging much or visiting for that matter. It seems every spare moment online I’m looking at things for the house, or things for the wedding.  My goal is going to be to blog once a week.  I think that at least writing here that often may help keep me sane.

Thank you for your patience with me and I although I may not comment I will be stopping by.  I miss all of you!

WR

I was not going to post today but I sent this in an e-mail to T and she said I HAD to post it. Last night I worked security/usher at the Saliva concert at our local fair.  This is a list of things I wanted to remember today:

1. You cannot reason with drunk people

2. Being a D cup + and not wearing a bra is NOT a good idea

3. You look stupid dancing when you are drunk…ALWAYS

4. That security person may be a girl, short and overweight but yes, she did see you smoking that joint and yes the police are on their way. So yes, you should get rid of it quick

5. Don’t mess with that short girl she just kicked some people out for trying to switch tickets and sneak people in. 

6. You will get groped multiple times when working a Salvia concert

7. The people groping you will not be attractive

8. 4 police cadets cannot handle one intoxicated man

9. Add two police men to the cadets and they can handle him

10.  Despite popular belief there is NOT a beer garden at the fair

11.  My child with NOT dress like that!

12.  My child will NOT go to a Salvia concert alone

13.  I don’t think my child will go to a Salvia concert ever

14.  Salvia sings the “Rest in Pieces” song and I actually like that song

15.  What part of “No Smoking” do you not understand

16.  Again, there is NO Beer Garden at the fair

17.  Yes, I do have to check your ticket EVERY time and no I do not remember you

18.  Men do not listen and will argue with you when you remind them that you TOLD them not to leave to pick you up until 10:15pm

19.  B and my brother do not appreciate good choral music.  Especially when I am making them listen to it at 11:15pm

20.  Just because you have been on a medication before does not mean you should neglect reading the label when you go back on it

21.  When you forget to read the label you will be up from 1:30am to 3:00am because you did not take the pill with food

22.  The first of the month at work really sucks when you got 4 ½ hours of sleep

23.  Energy drinks only help so much

24.  Coffee only helps so much

25.  Going off Depo=no guarantees or consistency

26.  No guarantees or consistency= always take your purse to the bathroom with you

27.  And always carry Aleve

28.  Writing long lists makes you tired and need more coffee

Can you tell how my day is going?

WR

So I am working our local fair this week.  Every night after work I rush home, change and eat in the car on the way to the fair.  I have to check in at 6pm and work until the concert is done and we clean up.  Last night I crawled into bed at 10:30pm which I didn’t think was to terribly bad.  But, last night was bad and not in the sense of when I got home.

Most of you have been reading my blog from the beginning.  You know that I although I am not very old I have had my share of heartache.  Last night I got slapped in the face with all of it again.  While working the concert at the fair last night I saw a high school classmate from a distance.  About an hour later…she found me.  She came over to me; said hello, wanted to know how I was etc.  When I shared I was getting married in January is when “it” came up.  This classmate of mine informed me that a friend of hers, another classmate, had run into Zeke and knew “his version” of the story.  After 4 ½ years it still felt like someone had punched me in the stomach.  Why did he have to tell people we hardly even knew what happened?  Worse, I know “his version” means telling people I wasn’t really pregnant and that hurts more than anything.

B doesn’t understand why I don’t just blow it off.  I’ve been trying to blow it off ever since I heard those words last night.  B made a point that Zeke has to be pretty miserable to tell random old classmates all the grisly details and I know that is true.  But it doesn’t make it hurt any less.  I wasn’t popular in high school and it looks like, with the rumors Zeke has started, I won’t be popular as an adult either.

WR

I am a terrible blogger who is probably about to get worse.  Starting tonight I will be working the grandstand at our local fair at night after my day job.  I am going to use the money to pay for B’s wedding ring.  I’m sure I will be exhausted but I get to hear all the concerts for free so that is a plus.

Not to drag it out but….my birthday last Friday was the best birthday I have ever had.  I had so much fun with friends and family and even slept in on Saturday until 11am!  Next week, after the fair is over, I will be redeeming my birthday presents for a massage and a pedicure.

I am actually starting to get stuff done for the wedding.  B had set up an appointment for a possible rehearsal dinner site last night and I was a little nervous to see if he had really covered all the bases.  Well, not only had he covered all the bases he worked out an AMAZING deal for a very nice dinner for our families and wedding party.  That is one big check off the list.

Today Emma would have been 4.  I can honestly say I cannot imagine having a four year old but I dreamt of how her voice would have sounded and how she would have looked last night. 

I hope all of you are enjoying your summers

WR

So much to blog about and there is just NOT enough time to blog in right now.  I have finally gotten the wedding planning bug and I am WAY in over my head. My goal next week is to get really organized so I don’t feel overwhelmed.  Speaking of wedding stuff, we have our last pre-marriage counseling session next week and the counselor says we are going to pass.  B thought that was really exciting! LOL!

We are going to have a really busy, but fun weekend.  Why?  Because Friday is my BIRTHDAY!  I will turn 26 on Friday and I thrilled to have a busy weekend of festivities.  Thursday night my mom is taking me shopping.  Friday night I am going out with “the girls”.  Saturday night B and I are having dinner at a wonderful restaurant with my parents followed by cake with all the family at my mom’s house.  Sunday we are having lunch with friends and a pool party.  I am really looking forward to an exciting weekend!

My present to myself is…brace yourselves…I am getting a tattoo!  I have wanted a small music note for about a year now and next month, as a belated birthday present, I will be taking the plunge.  It will be on my foot so it can be easily hidden and will be a “wimp tattoo” as my brother calls it because it will be so small.  My brother is taking me to his tattoo parlor so I will be well taken care of.  B thinks it is great but will not be going with me when I actually get the tattoo because he doesn’t want to watch.  T on the other hand wants to hold my hand and watch.  I’m a little nervous but mostly excited.

I’m apologizing again for not being around lately.  It is a combination of lack of time, and lack of inspiration. Hope all of you are well!

WR

I am still around but I’m feeling a little overwhelmed lately so blogging has just not been on the top of my list.  Thanks to those of you who have still stopped by to read only to find there was nothing new.  Time for the daily news and maybe later this week I will get around to something a little more exciting.

o        FRONT PAGE:  My sweet little brother is engaged!  It is a long story but last week he flew to Puerto Rico and met her for the first time, in person, and they are completely in love.  The wedding is July 12^th, 2008.  That just happens to be exactly 6 months after my wedding.  Looks like B and I will be planning a trip to Puerto Rico!

o        SPORTS:  Our 2^nd grade baseball team is now 5-1.  The little girl on our team who can’t seem to hit a ball hit a fly ball to center outfield on Saturday.  It is so exciting to see them improve.  Only 3 games left and I really think I am going to miss this.

o        LIFE & TIMES:  So I only gained one pound back because of vacation.  I am back on track now and ready to see the weight keep coming off.  Also, a friend of mine from college is living with my brother and me this month while she does her clinicals in town.  The first few days put me in shock because I’m really not used to sharing my space, but it seems to be smoothing out now.

o        HEALTH:  After months of having concerning symptoms I finally got B into the doctor yesterday.  He has a prostate infection.  The doctor thinks it might take two 15 day rounds of a strong antibiotic to get rid of it because he has let it go for so long. Last night all B could do was complain about the uncomfortable exam.  You would think he’d be grateful I forced him to go and he didn’t end up in the hospital.  Men!

Well, back to work I go.  I don’t think I will EVER get caught up.  Hope all is well in Blog World.

WR

Did you know there were going to be 2 Mondays this week?!  Nobody told me that or I would have been sick or something.  I had yesterday off for the 4^th and low and behold coming back to work today meant a second Monday.

Is crying on the job acceptable?

WR

What a nice weekend!  B and I left Friday morning around 9:45am for Kentucky and got home last night around 5:15pm.  Although there are some fun stories to share I must write about the wedding we attended or I might burst.

My dear friend George got married on Saturday.  George was a year ahead of me in college.  We met through a campus Christian group and soon became friends because of our mutual love for music.  We wrote music together and spent hours just playing and singing in some of the small practice rooms on campus. We were even in a band together for a while, but that is a story for another day.

Traveling all the way to Kentucky for George’s wedding didn’t even seem to be a question when I found out it would be so far.  George was there for me during some of the hardest and darkest moments of my life.  A seven hour drive to celebrate one of the happiest of his was not a hard decision to make. 

His bride, who I had never met until Saturday, was beautiful.  She has the most beautiful countenance I have ever seen and is absolutely adorable.  The wedding was in an old country church overlooking a bluff in the middle of no where.  The decorations were simple but elegant and the music was amazing!  (George has excellent taste in music so I shouldn’t have been surprised.)  The reception was simple and elegant also at a late 18^th century hotel.  It was a small wedding so B and I were able to visit with George and his bride several times. 

For the first time in all the years I have known George he is finally happy.  I cried in the car thinking about just how happy I was for him that he finally found “the one”.  The look on his face was worth ever hour on the road and every dime spent.

WR

My avatar gives the appearance that I am packed and ready for my trip this weekend and that my room is clean.  I wish both things were true but they are not even close.

If you’re wondering what trip I’m referring to:

This Friday morning B and I leave and drive to Kentucky for my friend George’s wedding.  We will be wandering through Missouri wine country on our way and take our time coming back on Sunday. B and I desperately need this little mini-vacation for sanity’s sake and we are both really looking forward to getting out of town for few days.

The only problem is getting ready to get out of town!  It seems everything and anything is happening this week.  It doesn’t help that the night I get home I have friend coming into town who will be living with my brother and I for a month while she does her clinicals here in town.  So I’m trying to clean everything like crazy and right now that hasn’t left any time for laundry or packing.  Oh, and I’m pulling overtime at work so I won’t be swamped as much when I get back on Monday.

So that’s why I’m not around much.  I’ll try to drop a note tomorrow.  Hope everything is well with all of you! 

WR

• Mother knows best
  •    My no weight loss week last week made up for itself this week.  I lost 2 more pounds!!   That is 11 pounds in 6 weeks.

• Mamma said there’d be days like this
  • Those little stick on heat pads are great for mega cramps.  Although it would work even better if I was curled up in the fetal position instead of sitting at my desk.
  • B overslept this morning and he had my car at his house…so we were both late
  • Someone walked off with the scissors off my desk last night and I needed them this morning

• Mamma said wash your hands before you eat
  • Using hand sanitizer is not a good idea.  Especially if you are eating something you have to put into your mouth with your hands. YUCK!

• Mamma said to spend your money wisely
  • Does that mean it is a bad thing to spend every penny of my buffer on the mini-vacation I’m taking with B next weekend?

• Mamma said to get a good nights rest
  • No more noise from next door but my crazy cat was up at 5:45am

• WR says have a great weekend everyone!

WR

Ok, here is scenario.  I live in duplex with my brother.  On the other side of the duplex is a woman in her early 50’s and her son who is in his mid-twenties.  The son is a bit of a recluse but she is friendly and waves when we see her. We are all fairly quiet and don’t bother one another.  Until last night…..

• 3:30am                   I am woken up by a sound like someone blowing in a microphone.
• 3:45am                   Noise has continued with the sound of someone moving heavy furniture and banging around next door
• 4:00am                   Go to sleep on the coach hoping the noise will be less
• 4:15am                   One loud short pop that makes me sit up straight.  Sounded like gunfire
• 4:15-20                   Shuffling noises
• After that                Silence
• I wait until 5am to see if he’ll, (the son), drag her body out to the car
  • So I’ll admit that maybe my imagination is running at this point
• Finally doze off and on from 5:30am until 6am when my brother wakes up
  • The dork slept through the WHOLE thing!

So my friend T asked me if I called the police.  I didn’t because I was afraid they would just think I watched too much CSI.  What do you think?

Totally off the subject but:  I am going to the wedding and I’ll just stay as far away from Sally as possible.  Thanks for all of your comments.

WR

Drama, drama, drama!  I just can’t seem to escape it.  Let me explain and you give me your two cents ok?

My best friend George is getting married on June 30^th.  B and I have planned a weekend getaway to Kentucky for the wedding.  I have never met George’s bride-to-be but she has the same name as me.  (Funny huh?)  Well, this weekend I got a call from a friend asking me if I knew who else was attending George’s wedding.  This is where the drama begins.

Back in my college days George and I spent a lot of time together.  For a while we helped each other write some music so there were long hours in close quarters but nothing and I will repeat, nothing other than friendship ever existed between us.  George dated a few girls throughout college, most of whom didn’t really like me but that was just because of how close George and I were.  Thoughout college there was one problem girl, I will call her Sally.   Sally had it really bad for George and although George liked her as a friend he was not interested in her romantically.  So here we have George and me spending lots of time together and jealous Sally watching.  Things only got worse around my junior year when George decided to back off on his friendship with Sally because she was really wanting more and it was uncomfortable.  In all honesty I never really had a problem with Sally.  She just had a problem with me.  Of course with George and I spending so much time together, and even taking each other as dates to weddings, (hey, I didn’t want to go alone!), there were lots of romance rumblings which didn’t help how Sally felt about me.  Let me put in a little “what a great guy” moment here:  When I was pregnant with Emma George would take me out for mint-chocolate chip ice cream every week.  Sorry, just needed to brag on him a little.

I’m guessing you’ve figured out who else is going to George’s wedding.  Sally.  She is a very talented musician and George has asked her to play in the ceremony.  (I am a little irked that neglected to fill me in on this little detail but he is busy right now.)  B and I have already sent our RSVP, booked our hotel, and asked off work. I really want to go to this wedding but I don’t want there to be tension or drama at this wedding.  Sally will be in the middle of everything social that happens at this wedding so there is no way to avoid talking to her or mingling with her. 

Do you think I am worried about nothing?  What would you do?

WR

Well, I didn’t loose a single pound.  Didn’t gain any either.  But it was still a little discouraging not to see the needle move any lower on the scale.  Mom says I’ll probably make up for it by the next weigh in.  Guess I’ll be really careful about what I eat this week to make sure that stupid needle moves next Thursday.

B and I are getting hair cuts in the morning.  I will be cutting off 4 inches and that will still put it at least 3 inches below my shoulders.  It is the longest I have ever had my hair and it is truly driving me crazy!  After our hair cuts it is off to the ball field for our 3^rd game.  We still have a few kids struggling with batting but our fielding is getting really good.  I’m excited to spend another day at the fields!

This is our first weekend alone together without C.  I’m not sure what we are going to do but I’m looking forward to the quiet.

Have a great weekend.  Oh, and Happy Father’s Day to those dads that read my blog!

WR

Wow. Who knew that what seemed to be such a simple question would generate so many great answers? Thanks for all of your help. For those who are curious here is the list I took with me Tuesday night:

1. Stability-emotional and financial
2. Affection
3. Spiritual leader
4. Love for God, spouse, children and everything else in that order
5. Honesty
6. Humor
7. To be honored
8. Children and willing to help with children (feeding, bathing, changing, etc.)
9. Patience
10. Flexibility

Our first session was really good. B’s list was, as the counselor put it, “the best list he had ever heard from a man”. We left smiling and have 3 new assignments. The first two are due next Tuesday and are to combine our lists into a top 10 that we both agree on with a creative title and to each do a genogram. A genogram is a sort of family tree. Google it if you have the time. The last assignment we have several weeks to complete. We are to complete a combined household yearly budget. Lots of work ahead but we are working together very well. B and I are both learning a lot about his family history working on his genogram. Overall this whole pre-marriage counseling process is becoming enjoyable.

C is at his mom’s in Oregon. I know that I haven’t written about C in a while and that is mostly because it is so upsetting and frustrating to write about. He completely failed 8^th grade and spent the last two months making everyone’s life miserable. His behavior is destructive and he has no respect for authority. Although we did see a wonderful counselor almost weekly and felt like we learned some new things, we were really only able to scrape the top of the iceberg before he went back to his mom’s. As of now it is really up in the air what will happen after the summer. C and his mom have both said he will be staying in Oregon but C told friends he would be back. Also, when he packed he only took clothes and a couple personal items. He left all of his books, movies, CDs, etc here. That leads B and I to believe he will be back in the fall. We are spending the summer looking at programs to help us afford to put him in a very nice boys home if he returns. Something drastic needs to be done before he gets in trouble with the law, hurts himself, or hurts someone else.

I weigh in tonight so I will post the outcome tomorrow. My boss is buying all of us frozen custard from my favorite place today and I requested an iced tea. I’m really trying hard to stay away from the stuff I should not eat.

Well, just a little update. Look for more tomorrow.

WR

Alright readers I need your help today. Tonight B and I have our first pre-marriage counseling session. We each have to come up with 10 things we want in our marriage. I have 6 so far but I’m not thrilled with 2 of them.

So here is my question: What are the top 10 things you think are important in a marriage?

Thanks for you help!

Oh, and stop by T's space.  She needs some encouragement.

WR